Let's ignore that last post, shall we? The whole situation has been sorted out. I won't deny that it hurt, though, so I'll leave that one there. After all, a blog is for documenting things.

I'm currently sitting in my favourite restaurant in Glasgow - Stereo - alone with my boyfriend's Macbook looking like a total hipster. Glorious. I'm happy about things, right now. I've spent the last two weeks alone in Glasgow as all of my friends have gone home for Easter, but it's not been as arduous as I expected. In fact, I'm wondering how I'm going to get back into the swing of socialising when everybody gets back! Total hermit, right here. Exams are looming and money is tight, but those are the only things that may even come close to being worrisome.

My relationships with people are going really well, and yes, I have a boyfriend, and I couldn't be happier. Glasgow is certainly treating me well. I have a flat sorted for next year with my three closest friends, one of which is The Boy. Our flat has four huge bedrooms, two of which are bigger than any room in my house at home, both of which have coal fireplaces within them. Y'know, the kind that you have to light by hand. My room is a fireplace room (whether I'll use it or not is a different matter entirely!), and has the added bonus of having a balcony out of the window. The flat itself is in Glasgow's city centre, 15 minutes from uni and 5 minutes from where the fun things happen. It even has a dishwasher and a roof terrace, and to top it off, it's cheap as chips. We totally lucked out on that one. I'm looking forward to it like you wouldn't believe. I have a job for five weeks in the Summer, working with disabled children, but unlike the last place I worked, I'll be paid this time. Being paid for something I'd do for free is wonderful.

Tonight, I'm going to see the John Butler Trio. He's a musician from Australia, who's gone multi-platinum there as far as I know but is relatively unknown in the rest of the world. For some reason he chose Glasgow to play tonight, coinciding in the release of his newest album, and I can't wait.

Life is good.

Things I Miss: My friends from home, but not to worry because I'm going back between 14th and 19th of April.

I try to keep my updates here positive. I also try to keep them regular, but that's never happened, and I'm going to have to break the positive rule in a frustratingly vague manner now, too.

I'm lost. The last month or two have been something of a whirlwind as far as my emotions and my knowledge of myself and the way I deal with things goes. I've become an enigma to myself. There was a time in my life when I was confident that I knew myself, and from what I can tell that's pretty rare. Now? I'm just lost. There's no other word for it. Confused and hurt and betrayed.

And lost.

My trust has been tested. I trusted and got that destroyed. It's affected me for the worse, but perhaps being less open will protect me in the long-run. I tried to forgive, and I even managed it, and then yesterday that got jumped up and down upon, thrown in a blender, royally fucked up (excuse my language) and left in a gutter to suffer. Yes, I'm being dramatic, but I just can't comprehend this. I can't deal with this. I don't understand, and I'm pretty sure I don't deserve this.

I'm just so sad.

Things I Miss: Being able to trust people.